Why I meditate

Photo by Samuel Silitonga from Pexels

I want to start meditating in 2007 as if I am not wrong, wanting to tame my "monkey mind" then. 

My wife asked her boss to introduced me to her friend, Ailing, on recommendation where I can learn meditation. My wife was worried I might go crazy if I meditate on my own. 


Through Ailing, I registered myself into a meditation class and was very passionate about it for about 4 months. I would wake up at 7am and meditate for an hour before I start my day. I would also meditate for an hour in the evening from 9-10pm as well.

I would say the meditation seems to help me calm my mind quite a bit but it seems like there is a side-effect for me. I got more sensitive to spiritual things, which is not what I wanted. I got a bad experience in an old Bangkok hotel (Asia Hotel) as I could not sleep on the first night and felt someone looking at me for the whole night. I got fed up and got my wife up to go to the reception to change to another room. Surprising the reception changed the room for us as my wife complained that the aircon is noisy. I suspect they knew something was in there but still let guests stay in that room. 

As I said, I stopped meditation after 4 months of getting into it, due to laziness and I got a calmer mind. 

Fast forward to the year 2018, I was so stressed by my work that I know I have mild depression and stress-induced migraine (after seeing a specialist). I then decided it might be time for me to go back to meditation again to relieve my problems again. 

I contacted Ailing again and she asked me to register for the Meditation for beginner class again. I obliged. I started meditating again and did not stop ever since, even though meditation time is shorter now. 

Side note: My meditation practice is not really great for the second time. I wasn't doing it correctly for about 1.5 years and until recently, after going deeper and reading up on meditation, simple instructions passed on to me were ignored mostly and my free-style meditation is not helping me much this time round. With new understandings, I hope I can do it better from now on.